Welcome to Torchwood


      The incredible naked man ( Vyasa Gursahani ), the missing link, Prim ( Cordelia Finch-Hammond ) and Proper ( James Richard Phillips III ), and Hippolyta ( Scout St. Claire )… this my team. A motley crew at our best, but more than enough for this challenge. After enduring the pedantic tour of  Torchwood estate provided by the ancient Ms. Humphries the unspectacular entrance exam began.     

             The test was to consist of five parts. Our weapons skills, situational awareness, alien knowledge, and diplomacy were to be tested and we were to be administered a psych evaluation in order to see if we were good enough to be called Torchwood. As should have been expected we surpassed every challenge presented to us.

     The weapons test was in an enclosed shooting gallery and our targets were what looked to be cybermen. I say looked to be because the animated shells we faced fell with only one shot from the firearms of the team. Child’s play.

     The alien knowledge portion was equally laughable. We were administered a verbal test of grade school questions about garden variety extra terrestrials. Basic knowledge of the plastic nestene consciousness, m6fvvexacy8sbb8czosk.png the judoon, interetellar constables, and multple malevolent shapeshifters, zygons and nostrovites was tested.

     The diplomacy test held all the challenge of microwaving a bag of popping corn. We were challenged to set a table, stop an argument, get a loan, haggle at the bizzare, pick up a date, and imitate Graham Norton. At this point I was beginning to think we were being Punk’d like the Ashton Kutcher. Punkd-Titlecard-opt.jpeg

     Then came the situational awareness. I believe this to be the first time we were tricked by Mr. Jones. Each of us were flashed an image and told to identify it. After each of us gave our answer we were randomly told wheter we were correct. I do not like being told I am wrong when I know that is not the case.

     And lastly the crash SERE training? We were to stop the fake weevils chasing down scared bambini after escaping our childish imprisonment. I was able to short out our cells with my Italian charm and Proper opened the doors with a wink and a smile. Prim lined the students up like dominoes and filed them to safety while Mr. Incredible sealed off the weevils entrance/retreat. Link and Hippolyta scared the weevils into submission with their mere presence and just like that we are Torchwood.


     If this is a taste of things to come, maybe you cannot believe everything you read on the internet.

Maximilianus Modesto


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Welcome to Torchwood

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